Ysobel
A Fiery Reinvention
“If you don’t like my fire
Then don’t come around
‘Cause I’m gonna burn one down
Yes, I’m gonna burn one down”
I got married 10 years ago in the end of September, and honestly, it was a nearly perfect day. I cried
tears of joy. I danced. I drank. I celebrated what I thought was my forever future with all of my friends and family. I was so in love. Nothing could have brought me down. If you would have told me then that in 10 years I’d be a 34-year old single divorced woman, I would have laughed in your face. …But, that is my reality today.
Alicia has photographed me since I was in my early 20’s; I was one of her first ever boudoir clients (which we shot in her childhood bedroom in her parents’ house).
Since then, she’s been my go-to for everything: she’s done portraits, my engagement photos, my wedding photos, trash the dress, and more boudoir.
So, a boudoir “divorced” photo shoot seemed like the perfect way to document this transition to my newest stage of life.
When I reached out to Alicia about it initially, she expressed such excitement and support for me that I knew it would be amazing. We had such a fun time taking these photos – from trying to find somewhere to buy lighter fluid to trespassing on private property and an abandoned car wash to burn my wedding dress. While I’ve done boudoir shoots in the past, this was the first I’ve done that was for only my pleasure and not some man that I was trying to make happy. And to that end, the day was full of fun, laughs, memories, and deep conversation. I felt more confident and beautiful than I ever have. Every part of this photo shoot was special to me. At the end of the day, I felt… peaceful. Strong. Validated. Empowered. Fireproof. Bad as fuck, truthfully (as in, Michael Jackson “Bad”). There are plenty of things that I could say about my marriage and how it ended, but I’ve learned throughout my life that if you dwell on how people have hurt you in the past, you only do yourself a disservice. You can’t go back in time and re-do anything (and, even if I could, I doubt I’d do much differently).
You’re the only one that you are guaranteed to be with forever. Nothing you do is ever going to change other people’s actions. All that you can do is reflect on your own, and attempt to do better, and choose better in the future. And, if all else fails – burn that shit down
and let it forever be a reminder that this is YOUR life to do with whatever YOU want. I’m done living my life for anyone else.
